This article is not about how to be alpha or cool, but to telegraph to women that you’re experienced and confident.
I remember when I was younger, things like eye contact and breaking the ice actually mattered to me. I would actually work on my eye contact, feel butterflies, and think about when and how to break the ice. I was either overeager or overanxious. To me, seduction was a REAL high stakes thing.
But now as a grown man, I barely notice these things. And I am often in a state of shock when I find women being attracted to me for doing nothing. For acting normally around them. From my perspective, acting normal around beautiful women is natural. I am unconscious about it. But what I do know is that most guys do anything BUT act normal around beautiful women. They either overcompensate in some way, or act insecure. So in a way, I unknowingly stand out without trying to stand out. I stand out by being my authentic self.
When It Comes To Attraction Your Vibe Is Everything
This is the vibe of experience. Your vibe sub-communicates to women your belief about yourself, and your experience with beautiful women. The more normal, authentic, humble, nonchalant, and non approval seeking you are, the more you come across as impressive, mature, and experienced. Beautiful women are used to the opposite behavior traits, so you think these qualities are subtle, but they really stand out to the most attractive women.
For an experienced guy, expressing these qualities doesn’t seem all that hard or impressive. I thought to myself “Of course you would just be yourself. Why wouldn’t you? Beautiful women are people too. And people have flaws. No one is perfect and should be put on a pedestal, no matter how physically beautiful.” This seems obvious to experienced guys. But to youngbucks, this could take 10 years to learn and integrate into their personality.
This realization actually just hit me the other day. Ever since I moved back to my hometown, I’ve been so busy with moving and settling in that I haven’t shaved or bother with my looks/fashion. And I haven’t thought about seducing women at all. I didn’t realize how my comfort level with beautiful women was anything special until my friends and cousins pointed it out. They made comments like “You must get a lot of girls in Cali, because you’re pretty smooth with the ladies.” And I’m like “What?!?! I haven’t thought about girls since I’ve been here. I guess what I have now is what they call “unconscious competence.”
Less Resistance from Women
Another thing is, for the past few years, I’ve experienced little to no last minute resistance. I used to experience it all the time in my early 20’s. But now that I am 32, sex is an afterthought. Just a way to cap off a moment. Women don’t even pretend to be all chaste around me either. It’s like all the token resistance women show to bad boys and guys they want to marry, I am exempt from. I am neither the charming rebel or the token relationship guy. I am too nice to be a bad boy, and too experienced to be Jack Dawson from Titanic. So women don’t bullshit me and put up resistance any more. They actually treat me as if all the taboos about sex in society doesn’t really exist. They treat me as I am – the experienced guy, because of the vibe I give off.
Again, this is the vibe of experience. Women are sexual but if they sense you are inexperienced, they might give you token resistance or put on a chaste persona. I am in a place now where sex is no big deal, women act real and don’t put on any personas, and all that exists is just fun, connection, sexual tension, intimacy, and joy. The way it was meant to be.
Another benefit is that I feel like I have a sex club membership. In a sense, the horniest and freakiest women always sniff me out. They know I have experience, so I am the guy they give cues to. This is the dark side of seduction, lol. You didn’t think it was going to be all lovey dovey, did you? A lot of these freaky women even have boyfriends/married.
So the vibe of experience allows you to bypass last minute resistance and you get hunted by sexual freaks. Women love this guy. This is the guy the “rules” don’t apply to. A woman can act all chaste, pretending she hates sex outside a relationship with one guy, and then turn around and fucks the experienced guy, without thinking anything of it. How do I know this? One word. Experience.
So how do you telegraph you are a man of experience even if you aren’t?
The key word is “vibe.” It is a vibe you give off. The behaviors are as follows:
-Act completely normal around the most beautiful women
-Make sexual eye contact with women as if it is second nature, not some big thing.
-Don’t hesitate to escalate. You are not talking to a mannequin. A woman will give you cues. Your lack of experience will expose itself if you don’t amp things up on her cues.
-Act like sex is no big deal
-Sexually shameless. You cannot have sex with hundreds of women and still have shame.
-Touch women often. Your comfort with touching women tells a lot about your experience.
-Have fun with women without some weird ulterior motive. Experienced guys don’t act overeager.
Notice I went from saying act completely normal to suggesting acting all kinds of sexual. This is because being sexual is NORMAL. Makes sense? Actually, a word I like better is sensual. The more you think acting “normal” means to act non sexual, the further you are away from cultivating the “vibe of experience.” I unconsciously do these things without even realizing it. To me, acting sensual but not overeager is my default personality these days.