As an introvert, I used to have trouble approaching women and feeling comfortable in a relationship. Over the years, I was able to overcome my shortcomings by allowing myself to be more comfortable with who I am.
Why Fear Is The Mind Killer
The number one thing holding men back is fear of the woman’s reactions. But once you allow her to react anyway she wants, and not be defensive to her response, you will have the freedom to do whatever you want. The opposite of fear is freedom. The art of allowing has erased all of my approach anxiety and fear when it comes to women. I am only focused on what I want to do, instead of all the bad ways she could react. Allowing things to happen is your only salvation from suffocating egoist fear.
This is hardly a paradigm shift in thinking. It is just simply the transcending of Humpty Dumpty, the big fragile ego.
But as adults, so many things in our socially conditioned mind can mess us up. Women judge your congruency by how comfortable you seem. If she believes that being social is part of your reality, then you will appear congruent to her. But if she feels like your putting on an act so that you can push yourself through, you will seem incongruent to her. This is when most “pickup gurus” will tell you to “fake it till you make it”. But I have a better alternative.
The Art of Allowing
Allow yourself to have your desires. And allow people to react any way they wish. It would by hypocritical to expect to have whatever you want while at the same time, trying to prevent people from having what they want. If people want to be mean to you, than that is their desire. They think that they are fighting you but they are really fighting themselves. Your reality only consists of what makes you happy. Allow people to be stuck in their own hell if that’s what they want. You don’t have to participate. Your attention to things is what makes them important. When you stop paying attention to what you don’t, what you don’t want will stop showing up.
Allowing is the path of least resistance. Believe it or not, a lot of people resist success. The girl is right there giving you obvious signs of interest, but you are not allowing yourself to have what you want. Your mind is telling you “Dude you’re a loser. You’ve never been laid. Stop thinking about her. You don’t deserve her”. All you have to do is say ” I will allow myself to have this experience”.
Enjoy Your Interaction With Her
Then make proactive moves without getting attached to the outcome. Stop trying to take her back to your lair. The fun should be in the interaction. I know there are things you want to say or do to her. Just do it. Once you are able to unite your dreams with your day, you will be a lot happier and appear much more attractive. Needing canned material is a sign that you are either too afraid of being yourself, or you don’t really know what you want, or you’re not allowing yourself, or giving yourself permission to go after what you want. Why would I need someone to tell me what to say? I already know what I want to say because what I want to say spurns out of my pure desires. Allow your desires to manifest.
The best way to practice the art of allowing is by adopting the frame of infinite possibility. By saying to yourself that anything is possible, you are allowing yourself to experience your desires. You are subconsciously removing all of the obstacles that are holding you back.
Being proactive and unreactive is just a practical way of allowing. Make bold moves, and allow people to have their reactions without taking it personally. More women are attracted to this type of guy than the guy who is constantly defending himself.
The Power of Your Subconscious
When you work out, your subconscious mind gives you permission to expect hot women to be attracted to you, so that is what you will experience! It is not the muscles, it is your creative mind allowing it to be so. If you believe that women are only attracted to buff guys, you will run into women who are only attracted to buff guys.
The Universe gives you exactly what you believe. Your mind is the law maker. Don’t you see? You are your own God. When you have money, your mind allows you to have women because you subconsciously believe that money attracts women. Look at all the naturals. They experience early success so their mind allows them to have it throughout their life times, not because they are good looking, but because this is what their mind is used to.
The gimmick behind LAW OF ATTRACTION
Whatever you believe, the physical universe aligns itself with it. Most naturals are ugly or fat or bummy. But they are allowers when it comes to meeting women. So the trick is to make your mind somehow allow you to have success.
This is the gimmick behind LAW OF ATTRACTION, or THE SECRET. There is no secret. There is no law of attraction. Laws do not apply to infinite possibility. You can have whatever you want as long as you believe it. People who buy into the hype of the Secret see that it works. They think that it’s the Secret at work, but it is their own minds allowing them to get what they want because they have bought into a gimmick. They believe fully in something. And when you believe fully in something, your mind will create it in physical reality. Read books by Abraham Hicks. They go further into detail about allowing things to work for you.
Make Yourself Believe It
This is the truth, and nothing but the truth. You can have whatever you want. All you have to do is find a way to make yourself believe it. This is why self-improvement works. Self-improvement is logical. You believe that if you improve yourself, women will come. So after “improving” yourself, the women came. But it is not the self-improvement that caused the women to come into your life. It is your own mind allowing it so. Some people have been hypnotized into believing that their spouse sitting right next to them does not exist. Next thing you know, their spouse became invisible. Shamans have been able to make trees disappear. Do you see now that everything is illusion and it is your own mind that makes everything work?